*Jill arrives home*
Lill: How was your hot yoga class?
Jill: Going to shower, don’t want to talk about it.
Lill: *Raises eyebrows* What happened?
Jill: *Sigh* It’s bloody freezing outside.
Lill: Riiiight, but that’s not entirely surprising in February Jillian…
Jill: K, well you know when it’s so cold that things stick to other things, and then there’s that moment of panic before you figure out how to unstick whatever thing got stuck in the first place?
Lill: …What was thing #1 and thing #2?
Jill: My yoga pants and the bus stop bench – I went to get up and couldn’t on account of my hot ass freezing to the seat.
Jill: I had to shimmy back and forth to heat the metal up…
Jill: It’s not funny Lillian! People were pointing and moving away!
Lill: At least you didn’t get arrested for public indecency…although I’m sure the bench will never be the same again.
Jill: *Sob* When I finally freed myself and ran to hide in the bus shelter, a homeless man stopped me, said thank you and lit a cigarette.
Lill: Look at it this way, it could have been a pole…