*Lill calls Jill at work*

Lill: Who the hell sent the memo requiring everyone to smile before 9am, and would it be kosher for me to lock this ‘Chipper Charlie’ in the copyroom and force feed him shredded paper and printer toner?!

Jill: You have five minutes until my next teleconference…

Lill: …Like the moron who forgets his doorpass EVERYDAY – It’s bloody 8 in the morning, why the hell should I spend energy being congenial while letting him in when what I should really do is put him out of his idiotic misery via strangulation with MY doorpass…

Jill: That’s two coworkers you’ve offed so far…

Lill: …Honestly!! Did I miss the part of my job description where being cheerful at ungodly hours in the morning is a requisite? Anyone who smiles before 9am is either suffering from a mental disorder or bad botox!

Jill: …Three minutes…

Lill: Screw these Disney-inspired corporate values – I want a job wear I can wear my sunglasses until 11am.

Jill: Well, if management happened to be walking by your cubicle over the past five minutes, you may get your wish…

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About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90′s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

4 responses »

  1. Nowan Zen says:

    I get to wear my Mickey Mouse ears all day, so go for the sunglasses!!!

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