Jill: I’m making toast and jam, you want a piece?
Lill: Erm no, I’m good thanks.
Jill: Are you surrre?…I’m using the store-bought strawberry jam you like – you know the one that contains your weight in sugar and only claims to be made with real fruit.
Lill: I’m sorry to have to tell you this, it’s been on my mind for a while now…it’s not the jam Jill, it’s you…
Jill: *Gasp* What is this? What are you saying Lillian?
Lill: *Sigh* Your jam to toast ratio is poor, you repeatedly undercook the toast and you fail to use butter in every serving.
Jill: Well…I…*sniff*…when were you going to tell me?
Lill: I was waiting for the right time…I’m sorry it’s come to this – at least you heard it from me and not someone else.
Jill: Have you always felt this way?
Lill: For a while now yeah….
Jill: Nutella too?
Lill: *Cringe* Yes Jill…
Jill: And peanut butter?!
Lill: Look, we don’t have to do this, really – you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
Jill: Wow…I just…I mean…hearing it out loud isn’t making this any more believable…
Lill: *Sigh* Let me get my Foot Loops and we’ll talk about it some more.
Jill: But my bagels are good right? RIGHT?!