*Lill calls Jill at work*
Lill: I’m surrounded by douchery…
Jill: *Sigh* It’s Friday Lillian – can’t you just hold off from ranting another 9 hours?
Lill: Not when I just shared an elevator with two pairs of flip-flops and three pairs of Ugg boots.
Jill: Oh I see…
Lill: They’re taking over!! Morons with inappropriate and asinine footwear!
Jill: *Sigh* I’m sympathetic, really I am – but who are we to judge what’s trendy?
Lill: How can you NOT judge?! It is not wintertime, there is no snow on the ground, and wearing ugly-ass glorified slippers to a place of business is blasphemous! Likewise, while the mercury is slowly climbing it is NOT summertime either, we do NOT live at a beach, and I’ll thank you for exposing me to your crusty ingrown toenails and hairy feet as cheap plastic slaps the bottom of your heels whilst you walk to the copy machine!
Jill: Take a breath – it’ll be ok.
Lill: You say that but you know it’s not true – unless of course you’re giving me permission to beat said accusers with the offending footwear.
Jill: Would you feel better if we ate lunch in the park and threw things at the runners as they passed by?
Lill: *Sniff* Yes…yes I would.