Lill: How was your weekend away?
Jill: Terrific! We hiked, went antiquing, ate marvelous food and drank fabulous wine.
Lill: *Raises eyebrow* So basically you stayed in your hotel room, had copious amounts of sex and ordered room service.
Jill: *Eyes widen* …
Lill: I know this because a) you haven’t done laundry yet which suggests that very few items of clothing were actually worn, b) you haven’t produced a single photo, souvenir and/or ‘antique’ from your so-called excursions, and c) you’re shining brighter than a fucking glow worm.
Jill: *Cough* Erm…I brought you back the complimentary hotel toiletries!