Lill: My parents are taking us out for dinner tonight.
Jill: WHAT?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!
Lill: Erm…it’s just my parents – they knew you when you still wore distressed denim and a nose ring, and dinner at the Pickle Barrel with Bill and Susan is hardly cause for panic.
Jill: But I’m dating Alfie – my connection to them is now…complicated.
Lill: Well that is true – Alfie is their youngest child and my mother’s favourite…but it’s not like going out of your way to impress them will really make a difference.
Jill: Why? I thought they liked me.
Lill: Oh they do – as my roommate – but not as the desperate premature cougar after their baby boy.
Jill: *Sigh* I see.
Lill: And this is likely my fault as I may have told them you whore around more than a Disney star about to release her first single.
Jill: *Sputter* What?!
Lill: Yeah, so now my mom’s convinced that you’re going to give her ‘STD grandbabies’.
Jill: *Sob* This is so unfair Lillian.
Lill: It’s true – Alfie probably can’t even have children after working at the pool in Speedos all day long.