Jill: Lillian…who is ‘Margaret’ and why has she sent you flowers and a bag of wine gums?

Lill: Margaret is a fellow patron of Aritzia – she also happens to be a size 14.

Jill: …and she’s harbouring a giant woman crush on you because…?

Lill: I was searching for a new pair of Sevens and like me, Margaret appeared to be jean shopping. Only thing was, by the time I had tried on half a dozen options, decided on one and cashed out, dear Margaret was still aimlessly wandering around the racks.

Jill: No one would help her eh?

Lill: Nope, so I asked the pipe-cleaner behind the register why no one had made a move, and after sizing Margaret up with a scowl bigger than my own at a Monday morning staff meeting without doughnuts, she replied ‘we can’t help someone who can’t wear the product’.

Jill: Shit…

Lill: Yeah – and to boot Margaret had overheard and looked about ready to bolt, so I did the only thing I could without being nabbed by mall security, I threw a wooden hanger at pipe-cleaner girl knowing the sheer weight and impact would make her fall over and in the process, got the attention of the store manager. After hearing the story of Margaret and and her delicious curves that no one would see to, the manager personally worked with Mags to find a pair, gave them to her with a $100 store credit and on my request made pipe-cleaner girl leave – though this took much time as the hanger incident left her tired and unable to walk straight.

Jill: *Sniff* Wow Lill, that was very cool of you.

Lill: What can I say – I loves the lady lumps.


About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90′s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

8 responses »

  1. amb says:

    Lill, you ROCK. I’m 5’2″ on a good day, so I can totally relate to Mags’ frustration of being surrounded by 6′ pipe cleaners who assume you’re not worthy of their “product”. I’m sending you *virtual* flowers and wine gums myself! (Mags too.) MWAH!

    • Yeah, being on the shorter and rounder end of the spectrum I know what you mean – and I’ve worked in retail so there’s absolutely NO excuse for that kind of behaviour (I really wish I had my paintball gun with me…).
      Cheers for the virtual swag – it was a good day 😀 …L

  2. Love it! Please tell me that it’s true.

    • Lol, oh it happened 🙂 Lill and I have both worked in retail and are fiercely protective of women in this kind of scenario. I wish hiring practices were more effective at weeding out the obnoxious and insensitive shopgirls we seem to encounter on a weekly basis. But given the relative shallowness and unrealistic expectations set by the fashion industry, hiring a certain look over a certain attitude is now the unfortunate norm. *Sigh* At least Lillian didn’t assault the girl beyond hanger throwing – though if she had it would have been even more fun writing the post 🙂 …Jill

  3. I always wondered about the snobbishness of shopgirls – after all, when it comes down to it, most of them are young, just starting out and working for a relatively low wage. The only reason they are well dressed is because they receive a store discount.

    You two are now my heros.

    • Like so many things they aren’t all that bad (we were shopgirls once too 🙂 It’s that pesky tyranny of the minority – their actions and behaviours are just louder and more noticeable than the more quiet and reasonable masses. My theory is that a newer, less civilized shopgirl has recently evolved – but this could also just be me getting old and critical of the next gen…And Lill has always been my hero when it comes to righting these kinds of wrongs :-)…Jill

  4. Cakes McCain says:

    wtf is with customer service? “pipe cleaner” – love that!
    Fabulous! Standing ovation, and give this girl a key to the city!!!

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