Lill: Ever wonder what would happen if the Charmin bear family got into it with the Cashmere chick?
Jill: Hmmm…No, but it would depend – is she armed?
Lill: Possibly, but she would likely fail at landing any meaningful blows what with all the twirling and dancing in her toilet paper dress.
Jill: But the Charmin bears are so friendly, I can’t see them doing any major damage.
Lill: They’re BEARS Jillian – of course they’ll do damage and besides, she’s a dead-ringer for Goldilocks – do you honestly think they could help themselves from filleting her?
Jill: *Sigh* I guess not.
Lill: They would cut that bitch faster than you can say ‘cha-cha-cha Charmin’, and THEN we’d see who’s product was more absorbent…