*Lill and Jill making dinner*

Jill: Can you get me some garlic Lillian?

Lill: Eep…No, I don’t think I can.

Jill: We have loads – just grab me some from the pantry.

Lill: *Gulp* I won’t go in there…you can’t make me.

Jill: It’s a pantry Lillian – not a church…

Lill: Maybe so…but what’s in there might still require an exorcism.

Jill: *Raises eyebrow* Are you referring to…The Onion.

Lill: *Shudder*

Jill: *Sigh* It’s just an onion Lillian – it’s been in there for a few weeks and has started sprouting – it’s not a monster.

Lill: Oh HELLS no Jillian – that thing is scary and ginormous and will EAT me if I go in there!

Jill: You’re being ridiculous.

Lill: Really? Well if I don’t come back in five minutes, send a paring knife in after me.

Jill: *Sigh*

*Lill returns from the pantry*

Jill: Did you get the garlic?

Lill: *Eyes wide* Yes…

Jill: Did you see The Onion?

Lill: *Gulp* Yes…

Jill: How big is it now?

Lill: *Eyes wide* It was eating a bag of potatoes…so pretty big…


About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90′s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

22 responses »

  1. nikkix2 says:

    Now who’s gonna go save them Chips?

  2. jensine says:

    maybe trow it into a window-box and watch it grow

  3. kimbervale says:

    Holy crap! I have a similar, tentacled onion in my pantry. It makes a grab for me every time I open the thing. I put the kids’ fruit snacks next to it so it can fight off any unsanctioned pilfering.

    • Lol, brilliant! I would also use the threat of forced time alone with the onion as punishment for not completing homework, chores, etc… :-D…L

      • kimbervale says:

        You two should write a freakin’ parenting book!

      • Very tempting but I imagine this would inevitably lead to several lawsuits, probable jail-time, and a stint on one of Oprah’s OWN programs – and I look terrible on camera so it would never work :-/…L

      • kimbervale says:

        Don’t immediately write it off. There is something to be said for insta-fame. Just look at Octomom!

      • *Shudder* Do I have to? I have a sensitive gag reflex so it might be a bad idea…and isn’t she now bankrupt and doing porn? Ugh, I feel like I need to shower just thinking about this idea…and nuke my ovaries while I’m at it *shudder*…L

  4. TammyeHoney says:

    Put plastic garbage bags over your hands then turn them inside out over the onion you suddenly have a double bagged onion…shhhh don’t tell the onion…throw in some dirt and you can grow it lol…

  5. kimbervale says:

    Yeah, but she sure did flash brightly in that pan while she gestated the blood-sucking future of America. And photoshop has made a pact with the devil, apparently.

    You may delete my previous comment if it was simply too rank and my deepest apologies. I’ll go dip my fingertips in bleach now and try to start life over again.

    • LOL, No deleting necessary – Perhaps we should thank you…I feel like just mentioning her has added a measure of sophistication to our blog that was lacking. AND I no longer have to write a post on our recent conversation about Snooki’s pregnancy :-)…L

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