Jill: Why are you up so early?
Lill: Gran’s having a garage sale today and I said I’d help.
Jill: *Crosses arms* What did she con you with, fudge or brownies?
Lill: Both actually – but that’s not why I’m helping.
Jill: *Raises eyebrow* Oh?
Lill: My parents have been trying to get rid of my crap since I left for school – how else can I prevent them from selling off my things to strangers for a paltry profit?
Jill: I see, so it’s an attempt to protect the ongoing hoarding of your beloved childhood memorabilia.
Lill: EXACTLY! I mean they insist upon keeping junk like those French onion soup bowls that just sit in the cupboard above the fridge, the ugly ass coasters from Costa Rica made out of shells, and their compilation of Polish Polka records, but MY most prized and treasured possessions are casually passed along to some yahoo wearing a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt and a fanny pack.
Jill: *Cough* Cause you’re really struggling to sleep at night without your collection of Rainbow Bright stickers and the sage advice found in old Baby-Sitters Club books…
Lill: *Sniff* Those girls could do anything – we could all learn something from their tales of juggling school, boys, family, adolescence and a job entailing hard labour for sweatshop wages.
Jill: *Gulp* Wow, you’re right – I think you just described my mid-twenties…