*Lill returns home from jean shopping*

Jill: Hey, how did it go?

Lill: *Grumble mumble*

Jill: That good eh?

Lill: The shopgirl tried to get me into skinny’s – when I inquired after a more relaxed fit, she began gagging…

Jill: *Raises eyebrows*

Lill: She gave me ‘regular skinny’, ‘super skinny’ and something called ‘second skin’ to choose from.

Jill: At least you had some options…

Lill: Yes, well when the options you enjoy facing include pastry, pudding and pie, you typically prefer NOT having your clothing painted on.

Jill: *Sigh* Well you’re empty handed so I guess it didn’t work out.

Lill: No, no it didn’t – when I finally managed to pull the so-called ‘regular skinny’s’ over my ass and zip them up, I was confronted with a simultaneous explosion of front bum, muffin top, camel toe and cankles.

Jill: *Cough* Erm…

Lill: It then took me another ten minutes to get said jeans down and off as my feet had swelled from compromised circulation.

Jill: *Snigger* I guess it’s a good thing you wore sandals.

Lill: *Sigh* By the time I left the fitting room I needed a shower, a bottle of Gatorade and a bowl of Prozac.

Jill: I’m sorry you didn’t find something Lillian…but at least in enduring this you’ve uncovered the requisite diet to ACTUALLY fitting into skinny jeans…


About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90′s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

5 responses »

  1. When did it become necessary for a salesperson to pick out jeans for us?

  2. Cakes McCain says:

    I don’t wear skinny jeans. The key word here is SKINNY. I am not skinny, bit I am not fat either. i think the sales people need to get a clue.

    • Seriously!! When the hell did bootcut or straight leg become unpalatable? Especially since the result of everyone wearing skinnys is more muffin tops than every Mmmuffins kiosk can sell combined!!…L

  3. jensine says:

    I hate jean shopping none ever fit right and why do designers forget real women have bums and thighs and bellies?

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