Jill: *Squeal* New Year’s Eve parties are so much fun!! Here’s the dress I think you should wear tonight – what do you think?!
Lill: Gee Jill, what will I wear on my other ass?
Jill: Don’t exaggerate – I’m sure it will fit.
Lill: *Crosses arms* Jillian, in the past week I’ve eaten a total of 34 truffles, a box of Quality Street, a dozen shortbread cookies, 5 lbs of kielbasa, more mince pies than I can count, turkey, trimmings and an entire shrimp ring so unless this dress features the latest in cloaking technology, me and my Christmas pudge will stick with jeans.
Jill: You can borrow my control top pantyhose – besides, the dress has Lycra in it.
Lill: Pfft…Lycra manages pudge as effectively as a comb-over covers balding…
Jill: *Sigh* If you wear the dress I’ll give you my free drink ticket.
Jill: *Raises eyebrow*
Lill: Give me a roll of duct tape, a pair of pliers and five minutes.