Jill: *Squeal* New Year’s Eve parties are so much fun!! Here’s the dress I think you should wear tonight – what do you think?!

Lill: Gee Jill, what will I wear on my other ass?

Jill: Don’t exaggerate – I’m sure it will fit.

Lill: *Crosses arms* Jillian, in the past week I’ve eaten a total of 34 truffles, a box of Quality Street, a dozen shortbread cookies, 5 lbs of kielbasa, more mince pies than I can count, turkey, trimmings and an entire shrimp ring so unless this dress features the latest in cloaking technology, me and my Christmas pudge will stick with jeans.

Jill: You can borrow my control top pantyhose – besides, the dress has Lycra in it.

Lill: Pfft…Lycra manages pudge as effectively as a comb-over covers balding…

Jill: *Sigh* If you wear the dress I’ll give you my free drink ticket.

Lill:

Jill: *Raises eyebrow*

Lill: Give me a roll of duct tape, a pair of pliers and five minutes.

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About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90′s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

9 responses »

  1. jensine says:

    and spandex does like to hug those muffin tops

  2. Cakes McCain says:

    awesome!
    I once heard Rue Paul say on TV – it’s better to wear 2 pairs of panty hose as it makes you look even better. But hmmm…. duct tape, there’s an idea!

    • Oh I’ve done the pantyhose x2, but it only works well in the winter for obvious reasons. My breasts have been in a relationship with tape for five years now – always there when I need it 🙂
      Lill looked terrific (and we didn’t even need to use the pliers!)…Jill

  3. Nowan Zen says:

    While I don’t have a combover (and can’t fathom HOW you can see through that cunning bit of male camouflage), I found that New Year’s parties are best when one arrives after the drinking has become one of the Welcome To The Party event.

    Plus duct tape has proven to be a rather painful adornment. And NO you may not ask how 8 know this tidbit.

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