Jill: *Munch munch* It’s going to take me until next Valentine’s Day just to get through all of the chocolate Alfie gave me.
Lill: *Rolls eyes* You sad sorry creature – I pity you for the obscene amount romantic fodder my brother continuously chooses to overindulge you with.
Jill: *Raises eyebrow* It’s all Lindt.
Lill: *Cough* Well Alfie’s hardly a slouch when it comes to buying premium goods for his sexual conquests.
Jill: *Frown* Hmph, so what did you end up doing on Valentine’s Day?
Lill: Not much really – I spent most of the evening getting sloshed on concentrated orange juice and cheap vodka, then decided somewhere between watching reruns of The Golden Girls and considering missionary work in Africa that it would be highly amusing to post inappropriate messages on all the Facebook walls of my exes.
Jill: *Eyes widen* But you’re not on Facebook…