*Lill arrives home from work*

Jill: Hey, how was your day?

Lill: *Sigh* Fabulous from about 9:02 to 9:04.

Jill: Oh?

Lill: You know the super hot courier that visits me my building every glorious day?

Jill: The one with the chiseled cheeks?

Lill: Yeah, and he does good face too – well he was on the elevator with me this morning…a very FULL elevator I might add – so full in fact there was little room to move…

Jill: Sounds interesting.

Lill: Oh it was – by the fifth floor I had backed right into him and by the 9th he was rubbing my ass.

Jill: Hmmm…dirty elevator gropage – skeezy Lillian but novel for an otherwise standard Tuesday.

Lill: That’s what I thought too…until we hit the 15th floor.

Jill: *Raises eyebrow*

Lill: It was when the doors opened that I noticed the pleasantly dexterous hand on my ass start to vibrate.

Jill: So the hand…

Lill: Was in FACT a rather bulbous fanny pack holding an altogether different device.

Jill: How tragic.

Lill: *Sigh* Indeed – all I wanted was a little morning sexual molestation to go with my Starbucks – was I expecting too much?

Jill: You might want to try being more approachable.

Lill: *Crosses arms* I have breasts Jillian – what more do I really need to do?

Jill: Well, for a start you might want to consider removing the “I have a Taser and am not afraid to use it Asshole” button from your bag…


About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90′s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

8 responses »

  1. Cakes McCain says:

    *sigh* Lill, I so wanted to live vicariously thru you for a moment there.

    • Oh you have NO idea how pleased I was for those two minutes – he looks like a total manwhore so I really wasn’t altogether surprised at the idea of it happening (And I do regularly stalk him when he’s making rounds so it’s not like he didn’t actually know I was interested). But alas, my hopes of living out my trashy romance novel fantasy of being groped by a man in Lyrca in an elevator have yet to be fulfilled – at least his mobile was interested :-/ …L

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh to be you Fedex guy.

  3. amb says:

    This was awesome … although for a moment there I thought it was going to be a whole other kind of post … I almost wish it was, actually. The FedEx guy who comes to my building has some really unfortunate facial hair, so I would’ve lived vicariously through you! 🙂

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