Lill: *Cough, wheeze, sniff, hack* Ughhh…death plague has attacked me again…why is my immune system such a flake? I swim in public lakes every summer, regularly lick elevator buttons and touch every railing, door and seat bottom on the subway.

Jill: First, that’s disgusting Lillian – the fact that you would share this information so candidly with me when I voluntarily live with you just shows how much you take me for granted, and two, karma’s a hot bitch and you’ve been particularly nasty the past few months.

Lill: *Cough, wheeze, sniff, hack* Not true! My karma is as clean as Gwyneth Paltrow’s intestinal track – I even bought an extra box of Girl Guide cookies last summer for good measure.

Jill: *Raises eyebrow* Buying is not the same as stealing Lillian…

Lill: *Cough, wheeze, sniff, hack* Unless you’re going to make me something warm and heavily laced with whiskey you can take your healthy ass complete with snark elsewhere – I have phlegm to dispel *cough, wheeze*.

Jill: *Rolls eyes* Oh for heaven’s sake, just go to the walk-in clinic.

Lill: *Sputter* Are you INSANE?! That’s the LAST place I’m going!


Lill: *Cough, wheeze, sniff, hack* Clinics are full of sick people.


About Lill and Jill

We are Lillian and Jillian; best friends and roommates. We blog to capture the seemingly trivial moments of thought and expression that make us smile; the often-times ridiculous way we see the world and how we live in it. We ask that you think well of us despite our propensity for drinking saccharine-laden alcoholic beverages, affection for 90β€²s boy-bands, and regular inappropriateness.

9 responses »

  1. TammyeHoney says:

    And to think we purchased 3 1/2 cases of girl scout cookies…I do agree about the walk in clinic they are scary places…Hubby’s two grand daughters are girl scouts and he is a cookie monster.

    • Lol, Lillian can eat her weight in GG cookies πŸ™‚ I have actually witnessed the devouring of an entire box during an episode of Jeopardy. She DID manage to clear the board during Double Jeopardy so maybe they’re like a secret kind of brain food? …Jill xo

      • TammyeHoney says:

        My hubby inhales boxes at a time as well. I am allergic to them as they have some sort of corn base in all of them. He likes that idea I think…just like the Doritos, he does not have to share. You may be right the sugar might be releasing endorphins that are over powering.

      • Lol, you’re really not missing that much – they are hopelessly average when it comes to cookie-quality (never repeat this to Lillian as I’m sure such talk is considered sacrilegious :-))…Jill

      • TammyeHoney says:

        πŸ™‚ it is our secret

  2. Cakes McCain says:

    Lill, you’re my hero! I figure as long as we stay away from certain body fluids of others’, stained matresses, and ‘sick people’ we will out live everyone. *fist-bump*

  3. fela2fela says:

    I used to swear by Neti Pots, that is until the article came out about a few cases where people were using tap water instead of filter water and poured flesh eating bacteria almost directly into their brains, rotting themselves to death. I think it was then that I threw mine away.

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